The Deidr'

Dear Deidre,

Here's a question for ya: Who should say I Love You first? Boy or Girl? Or does it matter?

Sincerely,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Dear person who declined to use a pseudenym but out of my ethical duty of confidentiality, will be called "which came first, the chicken or the egg"

“Why are you calling me ‘which came first, the chicken or the egg’," you ask. Well... there really isn't a specific reason. My point is... Who cares! Who cares whether the chicken came first or the egg came first, regardless, we all love chickens and eggs. This is very similar to your situation. It doesn't matter who says "I love you first" as long as that person feels that it is right and he OR she is genuine in saying it. If he says it first or if she says it first, the bottom line is that there is something really special going on. Hopefully, you both feel the same way. And, if one of the partners is feeling the love, chances are, the other person is too.

If you are one of those traditional, do-it-by-the-books people, then I suppose you could wait for the guy to say it (unless you are the guy, then you could say it first.) Also, if you have a really sensitive ego and are just terrified at the idea of not hearing a mirrored affection in return, you might be inclined to wait for the other person. But, really, what is there to lose by saying it? It's not like you're telling the person something bad. We all like to hear reassurance and if someone is really into us. If the other person isn't necessarily on the same page, he or she will maturely and politely let you know. If he or she doesn't react in this way and gets all weird about it, then the he or she probably isn't worth it in the first place! But, most likely, you wouldn't be attracted to that type of person anyway.

So, say it or don't say it. It will happen eventually if the relationship continues. And, remember, it is just three words. If you both really do love each other, then it's really not a big deal when or by whom it's said first. If you know you love him... or her... just go for it. Gender is really immaterial, as is, which came first... the chicken or the egg.

Best of luck and get lucky,

Deidre