Dear Deidre

Deidre is back from hiatus and Pete has been sacked.

Dear Deidre,

I was at a movie with a friend of mine, slightly (heavily) intoxicated by a certain controlled substance, and she offered me an Altoid out of her hand. Knowing how curiously strong they were I couldn't resist their Siren's call, and reached for one. In my stupor, I knocked the newly purchased candy tin out of her hand, spilling precious minties all over the carpet. I, of course, apologized and offered to buy her another pack, but after thinking about it, I started to consider the possibility that I really don't owe her a replacement, right? Knowing my state of mind, and taking into consideration that accidents do sometimes happen, shouldn't she make me culpable for only a percentage of the total cost?

The friendship is intact and the whole case is now moot, but I'd appreciate your opinion for gloating purposes.

Sincerely,

Clutz McGee

Dear Clutz McGee,

At least it wasn't movie candy because if it was, you would surely owe her a new pack, and you would be reponsible in full. Those movie sized candies are inappropriately expensive, and I would be quite irate knowing that a whole box was wasted on someone's frivilous hand malfunction.

But, seriously, is this for real? Is someone really insisting or expecting that you buy her a new pack of Altoids? Was this even an actual conversation? Maybe she should have realized that after consuming intoxicating substances, you may not have the best hand-eye coordination. Not to mention, it's dark in movie theaters. Without proper lighting, it's presumably hard to see and detect the small Altoid lying within someone's palm. And, as we all know, no good deed goes unpunished. Why share in the first place? She bought the Altoids, she should have kept them for herself, and therefore, the only person to blame for spilling all of the precious "minties" onto the floor would be herself.

At the same time, you should try and be respectful of other people's possessions. Even if it is just a few Altoids, remember that not everyone has an extra dollar to buy a second pack. And, since you don't really want to buy a replacement, you probably don't have a ton of extra cash either. If it would have turned into some sort of real argument, I would have suggested that you just suck it up and buy a new one. Be the bigger person. Thankfully, that was not the case. Try to be more careful next time, Clutz. And, check your breath... maybe she was trying to tell you something.

Deidre